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In the Flow

In by Cait on November 30, 2018 at 10:04 pm

Some days, it feels like everything is in flow–you catch the train on time, you connect genuinely with strangers through eye contact, engaged conversation and friendly gestures (like holding the door open for the other).

Buoyancy and a lightness arise when we are in flow. There is no grasping for a particular outcome. Instead, there is a contentment and ease with what is, and a deepened appreciation for being in the present moment.

It’s not about ‘shoulds’ or ‘have to’s,’ but rather about what resonates and feels right.

Trust your intuition. She will always guide you back to your truth.

Riding to the beat

In 100, by Cait on November 29, 2018 at 9:09 pm

I don’t go often, however on days I’m craving an intense workout,  good sweat, full release, and inspiring message, SoulCycle has become my vice.

The music is always bumpin’, the lights are low, and the one main concept is to ride to the rhythm of the beat.

Once you clip in, and pedal them legs to the rhythm of the music, you’ve set yourself up for a thrilling, challenging, exhilarating ride.

Heat builds, heart rate increases, sweat begins flowing out of every pore. The intensity of the day begins to fall away, creating space for a rejuvenated and elevated spirit.

Quietude

In 100, by Cait on November 28, 2018 at 9:08 pm

An evening at home with no plans or distractions. What an incredible gift!

It is nearing dinner time and I select some seasonal produce–delicata squash and rainbow chard–and get to work slice and roasting while quinoa cooks on the stove.

I savor the quiet and also the incredible smells as they emerge through exposure to heat, herbs and spices. The rich and wholesome smell of sage fills the kitchen and warms my soul.

My appetite grows and I am eager to taste the flavors of this beautiful food. I make myself a plate, light the candles, sit down…bon appetit!

Time is running…

In 100, by Cait on November 27, 2018 at 6:58 pm

Time. An invention and a way to structure our experience–past, present, future.

Currently, I feel like time is running out, like I’m constantly at battle with the passage of time.

I feel great anxiety–tightness in my chest and knots in my stomach–worrying about the “limited” time there is. Or that the world will keep spiraling out of control until a point where it’s too late to restore the devastation and destruction that’s been done.

How can I return to the present–the precious moment there is right here–to pay attention, see and appreciate what’s there, and respond from that grounded place?

Returning

In 100, by Cait on November 26, 2018 at 9:16 pm

Amazing how much can change in such a short time-frame. Though, perhaps it is more attributed to perspective and what we choose to pay attention to…  

After being gone from home over the last nine days, I arrived back this morning to a space that felt both familiar and also like a distant memory.

The air was finally clean, crisp and clear again after those many days of toxic smoky air.

Fallen leaves carpeted the sidewalks with deepened golden yellow, burnt orange, and crimson red tones.

Little tufts of bright green grass had begun sprouting, signally new life and rebirth.

Alongside the cows

In 100, by Cait on November 25, 2018 at 5:47 pm

What began as a cool foggy morning turned into a clear sunny day. Hiking was forefront on my mind and by mid-morning I was out adventuring in Briones Regional Park.

The past week’s rain brought a softness to the trails, and the smell of grasses, dirt, and trees abounded in the air with every step.

Freely roaming cows frequently came into view, sometimes blocking passage on trail. As I neared the trailhead, I once again ran into a small herd of cows and paused for a moment–watching them get into formation as they navigated their way along the golden hills.

End of the Day

In 100, by Cait on November 24, 2018 at 10:57 pm

I feel tired and blank. The commute home from the city zapped the last bit of energy right out of me.

A cozy bed awaits me and I cannot wait to crawl in and shut my eyes–drifting off to sleep and entering the dream world.

What dreams may transpire is never known, however awakening from my slumber is the only way I can begin to remember.

Tomorrow, when I rise, I will hopefully recount what stories occurred–what lives were lived in the subconscious. A time of reflection and introspection that often reveals more than one might think upon first glance.

Blessed by the Rain

In by Cait on November 23, 2018 at 7:19 pm

Quiet. Rain. Darkness.

Savoring the sweet silence that accompanies the purifying and cleansing rain.

The golden hills rejoice as they drink in the water which they’ve been thirsting for throughout these last months of drought.

Birds awaken and sing their glorious melodies as they playfully fly through the open sky.

The streams and creeks quicken with a new surge of energy that courses through their paths along mountainsides and through wooded forests.

Blessings upon this beautiful land we inhabit. May we recognize this gift of life–the water that nourishes us, cleanses us, purifies us and gives birth to all life.

First Snow

In 100, by Cait on November 22, 2018 at 1:31 pm

Awakening to the peaceful falling of snow–so light and precious–it touches my soul with a warmth, peace and calm.

Listening ever so carefully, you can hear the snow gracefully descending, dancing down from the sky.

I gaze in wonder through the windows at the snow-covered landscape. The mighty trees catch snow upon their extended branches–open arms embracing and welcoming the beautiful fluffy snowflakes.

When the branches have gathered too much snow, they suddenly give way, releasing the snow to the earth with a hollow thud–a unique sound that can only be heard when present to the serene sounds of winter.

Into the Woods

In by Cait on November 21, 2018 at 9:33 pm

The wind howls and sweeps through the forest–the trees swaying as if in conversation with her  dancing rhythm and flow.

Pine needles and leaves crunch beneath my feet as I navigate the meandering trail further into the woods. I look up and see patches of blue sky contrasted by storms clouds in the distance–ready to burst open and unleash upon the mountains.

The impending storm signals my return and mere minutes later I begin to hear and feel drops of rain. That familiar nostalgic smell–as rain strikes the earth–fills my lungs and I feel that the Earth, herself, is rejoicing.

Nature as intimate

In 100, by Cait on November 20, 2018 at 6:47 pm

While looking out the window at the beautiful majestic trees, I felt a surge of emotions run through my body and tears filled my eyes.

For a moment, I felt an emptiness in my heart–a sadness, a loneliness–and also a longing for deep connection. I also felt a strong desire to escape into nature, to immerse myself intimately into her magic, tenderness, and loving care.

In moments like these I honor and recognize the capacity to ground back in through the healing power of being out in nature–amongst the trees, the fresh air, the wind, or by the sea–can be.

At Altitude

In by Cait on November 19, 2018 at 7:05 pm

Amazing what a difference a little bit of altitude can make.

While running this afternoon, my lungs worked extra hard–sipping in the thin mountain air and sending it throughout my body to keep it oxygenated and moving.

Feeling the crisp fresh air on my face and noticing the stark contrast between running through shaded groves of trees versus open terrain in direct sun–I am brought back into my body and hear the familiar sound of my feet striking the ground, diligently navigating the ever-changing terrain.

When I feel challenged, my focus naturally returns to the breath–constantly, rhythmically, always in flow.

An Escape

In 100, by Cait on November 18, 2018 at 10:28 pm

After 10 days of living in smoky air, we decided to make an escape to the Sierras in search of cleaner purer air and clear blue skies.

We drove through smoke-ridden skies, however once we reached the foothills it felt like a veil had been lifted–the skies suddenly began to open up and the air became much clear.

It almost felt foreign to see such crystal clear blue skies, yet my heart and soul felt elated to step outside and breathe the exquisite mountain air.

Feeling incredibly blessed and fortunate for this respite, grounding and solitude in the majestic mountains.

Gathering

In by Cait on November 17, 2018 at 10:40 pm

As social beings, gathering together is part of our nature. We learn, feel, and gain new perspectives–about ourselves and the world–simply by being in the presence of others.

During times of celebration and jubilation and also during times of devastation and tribulation, gathering gives us space to be ourselves–to be vulnerable, heard and seen.

Sometimes we come together in intimate and sacred spaces and sometimes we are just a ‘small fish’ swimming in a big sea–as an individual within the larger collective.

Wherever you find your space and stride, I think it’s pretty clear that we certainly need each other.

Spontaneity

In 100, by Cait on November 16, 2018 at 11:25 pm

This afternoon a wave of spontaneity hit me and I decided to attend a matinee at the local theater.

The timing was perfect…I parked, purchased my ticket, settled into my seat and less than a minute later the film began.

I thoroughly enjoyed the solo experience–the quiet, the focus, and the ability to be present without worrying about someone else’s experience.

The film was rather emotional and numerous times tears streamed down my face. It felt truly cleansing to have my welled up tears pour out through my eyes, gracefully roll down my cheeks and land upon my chest.

Speechless

In 100, by Cait on November 15, 2018 at 11:17 pm

Today I simply don’t have words…the fires in California continue to rage on it feels like the Earth, herself, is crying. She is hurting, wounded, suffering.

Over 60 human lives have been lost and hundreds of thousands of people have been displaced –losing their homes and the communities they will no longer be able to return to.

The smoky skies are oppressive, thick and heavy–a visceral reminder that we are all affected, even if we are not in immediate danger.

We need each other now more than ever. A hug and a little extra love goes a long way.

Soup Season

In 100, by Cait on November 14, 2018 at 9:18 pm

One of my favorite things about Autumn is making hearty soups.

Get out that big pot and begin with sautéing onions, carrots and celery. Then come some spices–fresh grated ginger, ground pepper and cumin to name a few faves–and whatever hearty vegetable(s) you’ve got!

Add some veggie stock, bring the pot to a boil and then let simmer until the veggies are cooked. Add a can of coconut milk and blend in the Vitamix to give it a smooth consistency.

Add salt to taste and if you want a hit of spice, a dash of cayenne is rather nice!  

In Flames

In by Cait on November 13, 2018 at 11:16 pm

California is literally burning…

Feels like the apocalypse or Armageddon. The sky is hazy, full of ash and there is no fresh air in sight. Thousands of people have lost everything and have nowhere they can call home.

50 precious lives have been lost to the flames and and many more are missing or lost amongst the rubble and remnants of dilapidated structures.

How much longer with the blazing fires continue? Where will the hundreds of thousands of evacuees go to find safety and refuge as they mourn the loss and terror of such great destruction?

How do we heal?

Sauna

In 100, by Cait on November 12, 2018 at 10:47 pm

Warmth. Heat. Relaxation.

I savor the smell of cedar as I breathe the hot air through my nostrils–allowing the heat to infiltrate my whole body.

After a few minutes it feels like every fiber of my being is steeping in a sea of heat and detoxing what it no longer needs.

Beads of sweat build up and explode through my pores. I search for calmness in my body as it does it’s incredible magic to cleanse itself and find balance.

I want to rest here forever, feeling held and cared for, and trust that a little goes a long way.

Beginner

In 100, by Cait on November 11, 2018 at 9:58 pm

Sometimes it feels like it gets harder and harder to try new things, and that life seems to get less playful as we grow older. What’s up with that?

Today, I had the opportunity to try a new kind of movement class and it brought me back to the ‘seat’ of being a student and a beginner.

Amazing the insecurities and judgmental thoughts that arise out of not knowing what to do, how to situate oneself in the room, or what certain positions and movements look like.

I felt lost at times and then simply had to laugh at myself.

Refuge

In 100, by Cait on November 10, 2018 at 4:28 pm

Smoky days have me in a haze.

I want to escape to the mountains, or a serene place along the coast, to breathe in fresh air, swim in cleansing water, and experience the expansiveness that comes through being in the beautiful, grounding, and healing elements of Nature.

Then, I am reminded of the hundreds of thousands of people who are being deeply impacted by these fires in ways that I could never comprehend or understand fully–people who have lost everything and literally have no place to go home to.

Blessings of love and light and refuge to all those suffering.

City Lights

In 100, by Cait on November 10, 2018 at 12:15 am

Tonight I sat up top of Corona Heights and had a spectacular view overlooking San Francisco. Despite the thick smoky sky, resulting from distant blazing fires, the lights were brilliant as ever.

For a moment I saw the city as a living breathing being–traffic taking on the form of blood, bringing oxygen and life to all of the vital organs.

This image was quickly contrasted by the overwhelm of loud sounds of city streets and nearby highways, extensive light pollution, the never-ending sea concrete, and massive amounts of carbon emitted into the air by the thousands of vehicles flowing through.  

Haze

In 100, by Cait on November 8, 2018 at 9:56 pm

Midday, there was a literal shift in the air. What began as a sunny clear day, quickly became clouded with ash-filled air.

From which California fire this smoky air came, I did not know. Yet, with every inhale I took, I smelled the thick smoke, the culmination of all that was burning–from the foundations of people’s homes and their possessions to the surrounding golden brown hills and existing plant life in between.

Tiny particles floating through the air–carried long distances from whence they came–eventually falling upon new ground. A return to Mother Earth in order to form into something new.

New Moon

In 100, by Cait on November 8, 2018 at 12:33 am

The New Moon is a time of rebirth and new beginnings–a time for sowing seeds of intention.

This November New Moon is occurring in Scorpio, which astrologers are saying has the potential for awakening deep emotions and revealing deeper meanings below the surface.

Whether you believe in astrology or not, taking time to reflect on the deeper undercurrents of our own life’s journey and intentions for the future, the moon can act as a guide and symbol for where we our in our own process of navigating and making sense of the complex, often contradictory, and beautiful dance of life.  

Hope for a better horizon

In 100, by Cait on November 6, 2018 at 8:30 pm

Election day. A day full of angst, fear, energy, hope and great anticipation…

Remember two years ago when Trump was elected? How did that happen? How did we get here? How are our systems so broken and divisive?

We can do better than this. We have the power to stand up in the face of injustice and learn to get along. This will take practice, deep listening, and understanding.

It will require compassion and digging deep into our own intuition and generosity to do what is right for our human brothers and sisters and for the future generations to come.

Friendship

In 100, by Cait on November 6, 2018 at 12:33 am

Friendship. There’s simply nothing quite like it.

Some friendships are brief and short lasting, while others last a lifetime.

While I often wonder why certain people show up in my life, I trust and am convicted that relationships are everything we’ve got–our relationship with ourselves, with others, and the beautiful planet we inhabit.

Tonight I had dinner with one of my dearest and long-time best friends. We met when we were 5 and no matter the distance or what life brings we will always share a special bond and sisterhood that will last the entirety of our lives and beyond.

Rest

In 100, by Cait on November 4, 2018 at 9:57 pm

Sometimes, I love laying down on the floor to rest.

I savor the feeling of the ground supporting the weight of my body. And I notice how the air flowing into my lungs expands and contracts my diaphragm with each breath.

With arms and legs extended out, I try to relax my whole body–releasing any tension I might be holding in my face or jaw.  

In this resting place dwells serenity and stillness.

I rest in the enoughness of my own being. I re-source my body and spirit, knowing it will help me better serve and contribute when I arise.

Catching Light

In 100, by Cait on November 3, 2018 at 9:33 pm

Growing up our mom hung crystals in the windows that would cast cute little rainbows across the room.

Only when the sun stikes just right does light pass through the crystal prism in a way that creates a rainbow.

As a child, my mom would often make note of the crystals casting their rainbows–activated by the rays of the sun. Sometimes she would give the crystal a little tap to activate and make the rainbows ‘dance’.

I will always love–and watch in wonder–the magic of crystals in bringing light to life in the form of joyful, dynamic, little dancing rainbows.  

Where am I?

In 100, by Cait on November 2, 2018 at 5:16 pm

Transit. Transition. Transitioning. Constantly moving–entering, exiting, oscillating and shifting–between one thing and the next.

Traveling on BART, I often wonder to myself, ‘where are all the people going? Where are they coming from? Where are they going to?’

I wonder if others share the same thoughts, or if they are simply too distracted–by the phones in their hands or earbuds in their ears–to really experience where they are passing through space and time.

Pay attention. See what’s there. Life is short. See what’s beyond the ordinary by deeply listening, asking questions, being curious, and staying open in mind and heart.

Harpington Bear

In 100, by Cait on November 1, 2018 at 9:41 am

Today marks exactly one full year since your entrance into the world and you grow in spunkiness, charisma, and curiosity with each new day.

I love you. I love your bright eyes that express deep wonder–taking in and noticing all there is to see and experience around you. I love your perfectly round head and your spiky hair that defiantly resists the force of gravity.

I love the way you scoot around on your “duff” with seemingly no real interest in crawling or learning how to walk…though, that will come. I love you just the way you are. Always.