My Estes Park Wedding

Everything is perfect. The venue is perfect. The cabins are adorable. The aspens are a lucky flaming shade of gold.

Well, there’s a little rain. A light drizzle. I know it’ll stop in time for the ceremony. And there’s a little ice on the walkway. But we warned our guests.

Everyone looks amazing. The mountains make them look amazing. We make them look amazing! Even the turkeys look amazing.

Wait a sec. What? Turkeys? Really? There are turkeys wandering around behind the altar. Making a bizarre noise. Will turkeys be in our wedding? Gobbling at us during our vows? Seriously?

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Fried Rice

It doesn’t matter what kind of rice you use, as long as it’s a day old. You can get away with two, but never more than that. Chop some garlic and fry it in some fat. Pretty much everything flies except for olive oil maybe, the flavor is too strong. This morning, I ran out of oil, so I used chicken fat. Yes, I have chicken fat. Once the garlic is cooked and smelling fragrant, add the rice and simmer until done. Serve with a fried egg. There’s something weird about leftovers being more delicious than the prepared meal itself.

Happy Valentine’s Day

A few cliches, after all it’s Valentine’s day
but first a review:

Past dates have included
sneaking into movies,
picnics by the beach,
winding trips to wine country.

Today was adventurous in its own right
A lovely morning
late, by design

with a more causal exchange of vows
(not pictured here)
and an equally casual
review of momentous occasions

The eighth or the first
we don’t care for semantics
only for moments
and this one rose to the occasion

Now on to some tea and toast
and I’m now imagining
how we’ll be doing this
every morning
like we promised

Some ideas for getting out of bed in the morning, in no particular order

Some ideas for getting out of bed in the morning, in no particular order
1) Timed bacon fryer
2) Timed coffee maker
3) An alarm clock you have to chase around the room to turn off
4) A bucket of water hanging above your bed that splashes you if you don’t get up within ten seconds of your alarm
5) Going to sleep at 6PM
6) Your boss’s voice yelling at you about what’s due today
7) A new item delivered to your doorstep but expires after 5 minutes
8) Your bed flips over and deposits you onto the floor

Waiting at a bar

I’m sitting at the bar waiting for my friends to arrive, which is a predicament I often find myself in — sometimes up to 45 minutes early for a meet up. I’m always a little anxious as a single woman alone at a bar. I’m not looking to get hit on, but I also don’t want to be a nerdy loser looking at email on my phone. I settle for something in between, open for conversation, usually with bartender, but phone on table just in case. The man to my left is playing solitaire on his iPad. I order a beer.

Right Place

“I just don’t think I’m in the right place for a relationship. That’s the problem. I need to get myself figured out before I get into another relationship.”

I tried to suggest that the right girl would help him figure himself out. That he’d never get to a solid, figured-out place. That the right relationship would help.

He seemed to have thought that through already. “I know. It’s just that if I can’t help myself get better, how can I help her get better? It’s a two-way street. I’ve got to figure out how to do it for myself first.”

Welcome back

Your brain has been on vacation for approximately thirty-seven days. Welcome back to the real world, sir. Can’t say we’ve missed you. We miss no one, and sources tell me no one misses us, either (those that would never actually leave). You’ll have a seven day grace period, after which, it will no longer be acceptable to walk around with the facial expression equivalent of a satiated squirrel. Don’t worry, it’s not as bad as it sounds. On average, it takes seventeen days for your brain to return to normal levels. If you experience a delay, we’ll let you know.