If I was a gorilla in a zoo I could touch my crotch all I wanted. People would probably laugh. It’d make their day to see a gorilla do that.
But no, I have to be a freshly minted teacher, ironed along with my sweater vest, ready to inspire young minds. They can’t even remember how to pronounce my name. I’m frustrated, but it’s OK.
There’s definitely no crotch touching here. Let’s pretend I liked doing it – well, OK, maybe I do in fact feel the urge. Not around the kids though, won’t do it. Never up by the blackboard.